Artist Collection
by ChasingDreamsLikeAnIdiot
Summary: Originally supposed to be my contribution for SasoDei month, this is now just a collection of one-shots and other short stories about our favourite Akatsuki artists. Can be about anything, set anywhere, at anytime. Rated T for some language, violence and anything else that requires a rating.
1. First Meeting

_**Hey everyone...I'm not dead...but you may want to change that (Please don't!) I've moved house! As a result my internet was taken away from me a month before we were supposed to move in November because of the stupid bitch buying my beloved old house. Now we live in the arse end of nowhere, where the wifi is as dodgy as van with free candy written on it...so I havn't had the internet for three months because of this (You may mourn for my loss now). **_

_**Anyway, I had actually written several one-shots before December because it was apparently SasoDei month (who decided this I don't know but probably should) They're just ones I fancied writing after seeing the Tumblr prompts. So I picked a few and did them. There will probably be more to come, since they're actually really good for when I'm stuck in a rut for inspiration.**_

_**So here we go!**_

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><p>Sasori was positively seething inside the safe confines of Hiruko. He was expected to take on this <em>child <em>as his new partner? Did Pein have such little faith in him?

After the extremely humiliating defeat, courtesy of Itachi, the blonde child was walking silently next to him, eyes cast down, bangs blowing slightly in the gentle breeze. Occasionally, a heated glare was shot towards the Uchiha up front from vivid blue eyes. Sasori's gaze was drawn to the small, delicate hand that slipped inside the clay pouch that rested on a feminine curved hip.

"Don't even think about it brat," he growled, causing the boy to start, his hand returning to hang at his side. "Kisame would tear you to pieces before Itachi even looked at you."

"Tch," was the only response, "If he's that amazing, then why do you need me here un?"

Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Trust me brat, I'm wondering the exact same thing," he drawled, "Don't get in my way and your time here will be…less unpleasant."

"Are you trying to threaten me old man un?" A snicker followed this sentence. Sasori's finger twitched. Before the newbie could even comprehend, Hiruko's tail had smacked the back of his head, toppling him over, before waving menacingly around, near his face. Fear flashed in those bright eyes as the sharp blade dripped poison onto his exposed collarbone, dripping down his chest, causing an involuntary shiver.

"Never make assumptions based on appearance!" Sasori hissed, "That kind of attitude will get you killed, especially here."

With that, he trailed on, leaving the little blonde wide eyed in the middle of the road.

"Hurry up brat."

A frown formed on the young face as the blonde clambered to his feet, following reluctantly behind the three Akatsuki members.

"My name is Deidara un!"


	2. Argument

_**This chapter and the next will be a two-shot. Expect some OOC in here, since SasoDei is not canon.**_

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><p>"Danna, look at this un!"<p>

Sasori sighed and glanced over from his work, creating an antidote for his new poison smoke bombs, towards Deidara, who was sitting cross legged on his bed, smiling childishly as a little clay scorpion scuttled up his arm and onto his shoulder and down again.

"That's nice Dei," the puppet master responded boredly, returning to his work almost immediately, issuing a pout from his partner.

"You didn't even look at it un," he grumbled, squashing the arachnid back into a pulp, "Stupid Danna is more interested in his stupid poisons."

"_Stupid Danna_, is very busy producing a stupid antidote for a certain stupid brat in case he poisons himself again!"

"I'm not a brat un!" the blonde snapped, "And it's not my fault, you poisoned me last time! A warning is always nice, it lets your partner know to get outta the way before you try to kill them un!"

"Hypocrite," Sasori muttered, "How many puppets have I lost after you destroyed them with your silly explosions?"

Deidara snarled at the redhead; his hand mouths began clicking and snapping unhappily in his agitated state.

"My art is not _silly_ un!" he exclaimed, his cool eyes narrowed, "I improved those ugly things!"

"You destroyed them! Charred splinters are hardly an improvement!"

"But you'll never forget them!" Deidara defended, his voice rising angrily, "Of all your collection, you'll remember them un!"

"I don't want to_ remember_ them; I want to _have_ them as proof of my hard work!" Sasori shouted, "You ruin everything, you idiotic, self-absorbed brat!"

"I'm self-absorbed?!" Deidara laughed hysterically, "You're the one who's self-absorbed, all you care about are your damn puppets! You always push me away! I just wanted to spend time with you, but you won't even let me have that un!"

"Well maybe I don't want to spend time with you!" Sasori retorted, his usually soft brown eyes almost black.

Deidara felt the sharp sting in his chest at those sharp, searing words but he refused to let it show even a little on his face. Without a backwards glance, he turned and stormed out the door, leaving Sasori to drown in his guilt, while his own bubbled up in his chest.


	3. Making Up

_**Continuation of the last chapter. Lots of OOC in here!**_

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><p>Having worked with his partner for a few years and being deeply intimate with him, even for the short time they had been, Sasori was fully aware of Deidara's love and flare for the dramatic and his rather sadistic nature. Because of these two factors combined, along with being ridiculously stubborn, Sasori knew that he would have to be the one to start the apologies, then the blonde boy would realise that he had share in the blame and want to fix things too.<p>

However, this had been their first real fight since becoming a couple, so the puppet master assumed that it would take more than a simple apology to repair their already fragile companionship.

And so, three days after their argument, Sasori went to look for the boy, a small worry in his human core; he hadn't seen hair, nor hide of the blonde since their fight. After searching the base top to bottom, even being chased out of Zetsu's greenhouse in the process, Sasori ventured outside, his worry growing.

Outside the base, it was very quiet. In fact, it was too quiet for Sasori's liking. Walking cautiously, he slipped a summoning scroll into his hand, just for a worst case scenario. Thinking about that made his light steps unconsciously speed up, wanting to know that his bomber was safely with him.

An explosion erupted from somewhere off to his right. To a normal, sane person, this would have been a sign to run like hell in the other direction, screaming but to Sasori that brief flash of fire and shaking rumble was a sign of hope. He raced towards it, bursting out of the treeline to stand on the edge of a mighty scar on the face of the earth. Scanning the damaged terrain, he spied a glint of gold as and other bomb went off, making Sasori's pride swell with it at the intense display of raw power his blonde could create.

He pulsed his chakra, allowing Deidara to notice his presence. As he approached, Sasori analysed his partner's behaviour. His muscles were tensed, his head bowed and his fists clenched. Sasori's arrival had clearly upset him, but that didn't slow the puppeteer down.

Standing directly behind the ticking time bomb, he wrapped his arms gently around Deidara's waist, resting his head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Dei," he murmured, "I miss you."

"You have your puppets un," Deidara uttered flatly, leaning into the touch, resting his hands on Sasori's over his stomach.

"They don't even compare," he said gently into the blonde's ear, "Please come home."

Deidara turned around in the redhead's arms, snuggling against his chest.

"I'm sorry too Danna un," he mumbled, "Your puppets aren't stupid."

"And you're not idiotic," Sasori replied honestly, "But you're still a brat."

Deidara giggled a little, playfully hitting his Danna's shoulder.

"And you're still my self-absorbed Danna un."

"I love you."

"Love you too un."


	4. Waiting

_**Alternate universe here. That's right they aren't ninjas this time! I can do this too! And definately OOC.**_

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><p>"Uh, I hate waiting," Sasori grumbled, wrapping his coat tighter around his body. The winter air was so cold, that he could see his breath every time he exhaled. Deidara smiled a little next to him, hooking his arm in the redheads and leaning into his side.<p>

"Don't worry Danna un, the bus will be here soon," he assured him, resting his head on the warm shoulder. Sasori turned to see his boyfriend's blue bobble hat and scarf wrapped snuggly around his head and neck. He personally blamed the blonde for suggesting they spend the Christmas holiday with his granny, grand uncle and cousins.

"Do we still have to go?" he grumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets, wishing he had worn gloves like Deidara had… the blonde had such a strange obsession with knitted winter wear. Though Sasori didn't care; Deidara even made festive jumpers look hot!

"Yes we do un!" the blonde announced giving the other male a playful smack on the shoulder, "We spent our first Christmas alone together like you asked and then we spent Christmas with the gang like Konan wanted. I want to spend Christmas with family un!"

"Then why don't we spend Christmas with your family?" Sasori demanded. His lover tensed up next to him, staying silent.

"Deidara?" he murmured, turning to look at the smaller blonde. He was worrying his lower lip as he curled closer into Sasori's side.

"My family…don't really wanna see me anymore un," he murmured, his voice shaking slightly, "With my…looks and…my speech…me being gay was the last straw u-un."

Sasori mentally kicked himself for forgetting how strict his boyfriend's parents had been. Looking back on it, he never did find out what Deidara's parents had thought of their relationship. He hadn't seen his family since they moved in together.

"I'm sorry Dei," he said softly, wrapping his arms around the silent boy, "I didn't mean to remind you of something painful."

"It's okay un."

They stood under the bus shelter, cuddled together in silence. No words really needed to be said as they enjoyed one another's presence and warmth, waiting for the bus.

"It's here un," Deidara said with a small smile, "See? You didn't have to wait too long!"

Sasori rolled his eyes, pulling away from the hug but keeping a firm hand around the blonde's mitten covered fingers.

"Whatever brat. C'mon, I believe Chiyo ordered Gaara to make his famous festive ginger biscuits."

"Oh I love those un!"


	5. Betrayal

_**Much OOCness. Alternate universe... angsty Deidara. Yay!**_

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><p>Sasori glanced at the clock, a sigh emitting when he saw it was almost one in the morning. Deidara should have been back from his boyfriend's by now…unless he stayed the night. That thought made the redhead almost sick to his stomach.<p>

The blonde had been his best friend since they were little. He had promised to always look out for the younger boy, who was such a scatterbrain, he would forget to eat if Sasori wasn't there to remind him.

But now Deidara had a boyfriend. They had been together for six months and everything seemed to be going well for them.

And Sasori hated it. He hadn't realised how much he loved Deidara, until he had talked about moving out. The redhead was scared…he didn't want to lose his best friend…

He didn't want to lose the one he loved.

The phone ringing abruptly forced him from his thoughts. With a sigh, he stood up and approached it. Picking it up, his eyes narrowed as he heard what sounded like snuffling on the other end.

"Hello?" he called, "Sasori speaking."

"_D-Danna un."_

Sasori breathed a sigh of relief.

"Deidara, where are you, I've been waiting up for you to come back," he demanded, "Are you alright?"

"_Danna... he was…and I…"_ Deidara cut off. He was close to hysterics.

"Hush, Dei, where are you now?" Sasori asked gently, grabbing his boots, jacket and keys.

"_The park un," _came the almost whispered reply.

"Hang on, I'll be there in a moment."

The park was freezing cold, damp and dark, save for the orange glow of the street lamps. Sasori was almost running until he saw someone sitting on a lonely bench, knees pulled up to their chin. Slowing to a walk, the redhead came up and sat down beside the sobbing figure.

"What happened Dei?" he murmured. The blonde looked up and sprung from his curled position to throw his arms around his best friend.

"H-He was ch-cheating un," he cried, "I-I w-walked in and h-he was…"

Sasori's usually soft brown eyes darkened with rage as Deidara couldn't even finish his sentence, instead crying into his shirt. Wrapping the blonde tightly in his arms, he kissed his head.

"Don't worry Deidara, he was a complete fool for hurting you," he whispered, "You deserve way better."

"Th-thanks Danna un," the blonde whispered, "Can we go home?"

"Of course."


	6. Wounded

_**Now for my signature dish! Wounded Deidara, garnished in protective Sasori on a bed of fluff and drizzled with some sarcasm!**_

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><p>It was supposed to be a simple retrieval job. The contact was to hand over the information in exchange for the set payment and the pair would then return to the base for their next assignment. Now, that seemed to be a long way off as Deidara raced through the trees, attempting to lure his group of attackers away from his partner to ensure himself free reign of his explosives.<p>

This never would have happened if the artist duo had realised why the spy had been ridiculously antsy as they made the exchange. He had been captured previously and was being used as a pawn to get to the Akatsuki by the nearby village of Yukigakure which he was infiltrating on Akatsuki's behalf.

Usually, Sasori and Deidara were extremely efficient at disposing of numerous enemies; it could be considered their specialty.

Today however, the explosives master had bitten off more than he could chew. He was out of clay and had been reduced to taijutsu. Though to his credit, he had dispatched ten of the twelve Anbu he had claimed for his own.

Now he was stuck between defending himself from the relentless attacks and trying to take advantage of the few openings he saw. Unfortunately, the pair were much larger than he was and he was quickly over powered.

A heavy kick connected with his stomach and launched him across the snow covered ground. Blood rushed into his mouth, threatening to drown him if he didn't spit out the red liquid immediately. The second ninja appeared behind him and kicked his back, changing his trajectory very painfully. He landed on the snow, barely able to move as the pain and cold were making him numb. Through his blurry vision, he made out the pair coming towards him and was overcome with nausea as he was lifted up by his hair.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he waited for the killer blow. With a sound of metal through flesh, hot blood splashed over his face and chest. But no pain followed. Peeking an eye open, he saw a metal coil twisting through the two now dead bodies.

The hold on his hair loosened and he fell onto his side in the snow.

Sasori retracted his coil and it snapped back inside his hollow stomach. He stepped over the bodies casually and reached out to pull his partner up. Deidara stood with a wince, spitting out some blood as he steadied himself, using Sasori for support.

"That's the last of them," he stated, "I disposed of the informant and took back the payment. He is useless to us after all."

"K-Kakuzu will be pleased un," Deidara snickered a little, wincing as his stomach throbbed. Sasori smirked a little and turned away from his partner.

"Come, we should return to headquarters," he said softly, walking away. Deidara nodded mutely and followed slowly after the puppet master.

The pain in his stomach was intense from where he was kicked and the cold was slowly beginning to seep into his body, making the journey back very slow and uncomfortable. He refused to complain however, as he didn't want to burden the puppet master. So he gritted his teeth and fought against the nausea.

"We will stop for tonight," Sasori announced as he proceeded to set up traps around the perimeter of their campsite. Deidara all but collapsed against a wide tree trunk, breathing heavily. His stomach hadn't healed at all in their travels, if anything it was getting worse than before.

"Something wrong brat?" asked his partner who was setting up a small fire. Deidara shook his head curtly, trying to help by slowly unrolling their bedrolls.

"No Danna, just my stomach hurts a bit from the fight earlier un," he explained softly, "I should be fine in the morning."

The puppet master regarded his pale state for a few minutes before accepting his answer and returning to his task. The pair fell into an easy silence in which Deidara ate a small meal before going to sleep, wincing a little as he stretched out in his bedroll.

Sasori kept watch throughout the night, not missing when his partner started coughing unconsciously.

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><p>"Brat wake up," Sasori called shaking the blonde awake as the sun peaked over the treetops. The puppeteer turned to remove all traces of the fire from the previous night as well as pack up while he waited for Deidara to awaken. Glancing over he frowned to see that his partner remained unmoving.<p>

"Brat," he called; again no movement.

"Deidara, wake up," he called louder. Nothing. Feeling very concerned, the puppet master approached the boy and rolled him over, his narrowing when he saw a trail of blood from his pale lips.

"Deidara," he called again, this time shaking his shoulder, gently. Panic started to well up inside the redhead. Swiftly, he pulled the bedroll off his partner and checked his body for any forms of injury. His brown eyes widened a little as he took in the massive bruise over Deidara's lean stomach. Pressing on it slightly, the blonde coughed harshly, whimpering with pain.

Sasori frowned deeply at his conclusion; the brat was bleeding internally. He needed a doctor right away.

He swiftly removed all traces of the campsite, then lifted the unconscious blonde into his arms as gently as possible. A groan issued from his pale, blood stained lips.

"Hush Deidara," the Sasori murmured, running in the direction of the closest village.

Azure eyes slit open, assaulted by the little sunlight that streamed in through the small window.

"Unnn…Danna?" Deidara murmured, trying to sit up. A throbbing pain in his stomach and a hand pressing lightly on his chest prevented him from actually doing so, as he was forced to lie back down.

"Brat, how do you feel?"

Ah, that was Sasori, next to him. He looked over to see the redhead resting in a chair beside his bed, the light from the window shining behind him, making him look even more innocent and childlike.

"Like crap un," he mumbled with a small smile, "Where are we?"

"In a clinic," Sasori replied, his gaze turning stern, "You said you were alright! Do you know how worried I was when you didn't wake up?"

Deidara frowned a little, looking around.

"But…I just got kicked un," he muttered, "I thought it would go away."

Sasori's anger melted away as he held onto Deidara's hand.

"You had internal bleeding from when you were kicked," he explained, "The doctor had to open you up to heal it, since they are civilians. I want to leave as soon as possible but they insist you stay for a while."

"I'm sorry Danna," Deidara murmured. The redhead shrugged a little awkwardly.

"You shouldn't hide injuries from me brat," he stated softly, "I do care about you. I'm not heartless."

"I know Danna," the blonde murmured with a small smile, "I'm glad to have you."


End file.
